poetry & other writing
tired of being stagnant
craving growth but never knowing how to get started
stuck in the same vicious cycle of false productivity
conditioned mind by the words of society
needing a change of pace, a change of scenery
maybe a new vessel in hopes i’ll finally start loving me
this life, this mind, all of this routine
i want out, give me something new
a life motive to look forward to
-m.g. (theintrospectivepoet)
I want to say more, to be more
But this is who I am
No matter the prep
The “okay, this is the plan”
No matter the play by play I write on the whiteboard that is my mind
I resort to the same tendencies
This is me
Reserved, soft-spoken
Yet with so much to say
It isn’t until the conditions are right
The reassurances present
That I take a step forward
Allow myself to go to the next part of the scene playing in my mind
I don’t like taking risks
There was a time when I’d improvise
Not concerned with the lines of the script
But turns out cliffhangers give me anxiety, and it also turns out-
I am not a fan of the uncertainty, the doubt, the insecurity that comes with it
Trust me when I say I do not need more of that
This is me
Cautious, analytical
The editor who spends restless nights going over the same storyline until it is perfection
If only I could truly realize,
no work is ever perfect
-m.g. (theintrospectivepoet)
late at night is the time for thoughts of you
and he
and she
and what we all used to be
relationships that at one point encompassed my entire being
pulled me in all directions
convinced me with each exchange of laughter that we would be okay
and we are, relatively speaking
the magnets within us that drew each and every one of us together now steer us in opposite directions
but we are still okay
the remnants of our laughter now serve a different purpose-
to remind us of a time when we were
now that we are not
– m.g. (theintrospectivepoet)
Here is the thing about self-love that not a lot of people talk about. It hurts sometimes. Many will illustrate the idea of loving yourself as an eye-opening revelation of the importance of self-care- and while that concept is not false, it is not all rainbows and butterflies as they try to make it seem. Often the things we want the most, the people we want the most- are negative influences. What we crave so deeply is a poison with the sweetest flavor ready to satisfy our sweet tooth. And it is not easy to let a craving be. It can stimulate reckless behavior we never imagined could be reached. This is why true self-love is so important.
But, self-love is more than taking a day off to soothe your muscles in a bath with your favorite Lush bath bomb while sipping on tea and taking in the aroma of the burning Bath & Body Works candle nearby. It is more than cranking up your favorite tunes you sing along to in attempt to soothe your aching heart after a bad breakup. While these activities may steer more focus on yourself, they are not enough. There is no use in performing them if you are not taking the actions necessary to terminate the underlying causes for you doing them.
See the problem. Face the problem. Learn from the problem. These are crucial steps that at times can be what we want to avoid most. We do not want to stand face to face with what is causing us pain. We do not want to sit at its table and try to work things out. We rather turn a cold shoulder and act like it does not exist. Act like everything is fine. But doing so is the complete opposite of loving yourself.
Because what self-love really is is polishing yourself to be more refined. A better version than the you you were a couple months, weeks, days ago. Self-love will not always be pretty. There will be a lot of restraint, tears, and frustration because the things you want to do or the people you want to see are not the best for you, but that still does not stop you from craving them all. Yearning for that temporary bliss.
Remember that at the end of the day, you are the one in your body, in your mind. No one else is with you 24 hours 7 days a week, every minute, every second of every day. You are with yourself from sun up to sun down. Let this be your motivation to get your act together and start acting in a way to better yourself and your future.
– m.g. (theintrospectivepoet)
Like a toddler trying to get a grasp on walking
I am struggling with putting one foot in front of the other
Frustrated with realizing where I want to be
Yet not being able to get there quick enough
– m.g. (theintrospectivepoet)
I was never skilled at saying goodbyes
Which maybe explains why I strive to keep people alive
I refuse to let them convert into a mere memory
I seek their presence
Search for their scent in blossoming flowers
Their vibrant smiles in coffee swirls
Their cozy embrace in warm, fuzzy sweaters
I run along the trails they leave behind
Refusing to say it
Refusing to acknowledge it
Because the act of saying goodbye
Means the ceasing of existence
And I have never been fond of endings
– m.g. (theintrospectivepoet)
I embarked on a journey to a destination flourishing with peace of mind, acceptance, and unconditional love
Upon it, I trod along trails with aspirations only to arrive at a land of disillusionment and betrayal
Looking back, I realized that on the way I invested myself into people who at the time seemed to be lending me a hand but really served as roadblocks
So now-
Now I begin a new journey of self-discovery
An adventure in which I learn to find peace of mind, acceptance, and unconditional love all within myself
~ m.g. (theintrospectivepoet)
Among a room crowded with people
I tiptoe my way to the empty corner
Trying to go unnoticed
Avoiding every pair of eyes trying to reach mine
As I tread along, I wonder
What parts of me are they looking at?
Do they see the anxiety that kicks in whenever I am in a new setting?
Or maybe my fear of opening up only to be let down?
Do they notice my struggle to accept the body I am in?
Or possibly they just see a girl walking to the other side of the room
And I am the one wondering what it is that I see in myself
– m.g. (theintrospectivepoet)
I awake from a night’s slumber and turn to the other side of bed
Open up my eyes and notice you looking straight at me
You say “good morning, beautiful”
I blink once and the only thing left of you is your imprint on the bed sheets
I go to the kitchen
Prepare myself some breakfast
Take a seat at the dining room table and feel you reach for my hand
Your touch- so soft and so light
Causes my skin to tingle
I move my hand away and with that movement, yours goes away too
I walk back to my bedroom
Lay out the day’s outfit
Get dressed and look in the mirror
You sit on the edge of my bed and tell me “I love it when you wear that”
I spin around so you could have a better look but once I stop, you are no longer there
I grab my things and head out the door
Pick up my phone and direct myself to your contact name
Click on “new message” but quickly stop and get trapped in a haze
I look up and the tears won’t go away
As I remember that each morning is nothing but a replay of our past
And you are no longer a part of my days
– m.g. (theintrospectivepoet)
I want to immerse myself in a love so intense-
Feel as though I am falling through the clouds
Sense the thumping beats of my heart as I get closer to landing into your arms
I want to immerse myself in a love so authentic-
Discover all the locked doors of your being
And witness you unravel your true self to me
I want to immerse myself in a love so honest-
We will be readers of each other’s secret book
Revealing parts of ourselves through every chapter
Baring nothing but truth
I want to immerse myself in a love so wonderful-
That when I come home after a long overwhelming day
And see your reassuring smile
It will infiltrate my body and make itself mine
No worry will be too grand
Because our intense, authentic, honest, and wonderful love
Will make everything so much better
– m.g. (theintrospectivepoet)
Inside My Mind 