Perfect Moment

I want to say more, to be more

But this is who I am

No matter the prep

The “okay, this is the plan”

No matter the play by play I write on the whiteboard that is my mind

I resort to the same tendencies

This is me

Reserved, soft-spoken

Yet with so much to say

It isn’t until the conditions are right

The reassurances present

That I take a step forward

Allow myself to go to the next part of the scene playing in my mind

I don’t like taking risks

There was a time when I’d improvise

Not concerned with the lines of the script

But turns out cliffhangers give me anxiety, and it also turns out-

I am not a fan of the uncertainty, the doubt, the insecurity that comes with it

Trust me when I say I do not need more of that

This is me

Cautious, analytical

The editor who spends restless nights going over the same storyline until it is perfection

If only I could truly realize,

no work is ever perfect

-m.g. (theintrospectivepoet)

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fri(end)s

late at night is the time for thoughts of you

and he

and she

and what we all used to be

relationships that at one point encompassed my entire being

pulled me in all directions

convinced me with each exchange of laughter that we would be okay

and we are, relatively speaking

the magnets within us that drew each and every one of us together now steer us in opposite directions

but we are still okay

the remnants of our laughter now serve a different purpose-

to remind us of a time when we were

now that we are not

– m.g. (theintrospectivepoet)

The Truth to Self-love

Here is the thing about self-love that not a lot of people talk about. It hurts sometimes. Many will illustrate the idea of loving yourself as an eye-opening revelation of the importance of self-care- and while that concept is not false, it is not all rainbows and butterflies as they try to make it seem. Often the things we want the most, the people we want the most- are negative influences. What we crave so deeply is a poison with the sweetest flavor ready to satisfy our sweet tooth. And it is not easy to let a craving be. It can stimulate reckless behavior we never imagined could be reached. This is why true self-love is so important.

But, self-love is more than taking a day off to soothe your muscles in a bath with your favorite Lush bath bomb while sipping on tea and taking in the aroma of the burning Bath & Body Works candle nearby. It is more than cranking up your favorite tunes you sing along to in attempt to soothe your aching heart after a bad breakup. While these activities may steer more focus on yourself, they are not enough. There is no use in performing them if you are not taking the actions necessary to terminate the underlying causes for you doing them.

See the problem. Face the problem. Learn from the problem. These are crucial steps that at times can be what we want to avoid most. We do not want to stand face to face with what is causing us pain. We do not want to sit at its table and try to work things out. We rather turn a cold shoulder and act like it does not exist. Act like everything is fine. But doing so is the complete opposite of loving yourself.

Because what self-love really is is polishing yourself to be more refined. A better version than the you you were a couple months, weeks, days ago. Self-love will not always be pretty. There will be a lot of restraint, tears, and frustration because the things you want to do or the people you want to see are not the best for you, but that still does not stop you from craving them all. Yearning for that temporary bliss.

Remember that at the end of the day, you are the one in your body, in your mind. No one else is with you 24 hours 7 days a week, every minute, every second of every day. You are with yourself from sun up to sun down. Let this be your motivation to get your act together and start acting in a way to better yourself and your future.

– m.g. (theintrospectivepoet)

The End

I was never skilled at saying goodbyes

Which maybe explains why I strive to keep people alive

I refuse to let them convert into a mere memory

I seek their presence

Search for their scent in blossoming flowers

Their vibrant smiles in coffee swirls

Their cozy embrace in warm, fuzzy sweaters

I run along the trails they leave behind

Refusing to say it

Refusing to acknowledge it

Because the act of saying goodbye

Means the ceasing of existence

And I have never been fond of endings

m.g. (theintrospectivepoet)

Journey

I embarked on a journey to a destination flourishing with peace of mind, acceptance, and unconditional love

Upon it, I trod along trails with aspirations only to arrive at a land of disillusionment and betrayal

Looking back, I realized that on the way I invested myself into people who at the time seemed to be lending me a hand but really served as roadblocks

So now-

Now I begin a new journey of self-discovery

An adventure in which I learn to find peace of mind, acceptance, and unconditional love all within myself

~ m.g. (theintrospectivepoet)

Overthinker

Among a room crowded with people

I tiptoe my way to the empty corner

Trying to go unnoticed

Avoiding every pair of eyes trying to reach mine

As I tread along, I wonder

What parts of me are they looking at?

Do they see the anxiety that kicks in whenever I am in a new setting?

Or maybe my fear of opening up only to be let down?

Do they notice my struggle to accept the body I am in?

Or possibly they just see a girl walking to the other side of the room

And I am the one wondering what it is that I see in myself

m.g. (theintrospectivepoet)